Wat is Co-Counselling?

J. P. Hoogma and van Wijngaarden, M., Wat is Co-Counselling?, CornuCopia Publications, 2002.
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WAT IS CO-COUNSELLING?

door JanPieter Hoogma

Vertaling Marian van Wijngaarden

Gevoelens meer plek in je leven geven.

Als dat eens mogelijk was! Eén van de moeilijkheden die je tegenkomt bij het accepteren van jezelf is om om te gaan met je gevoelens, vooral als het om sterke emoties gaat zoals woede, wanhoop, schaamte, verdriet, schuldgevoel of angst.

De meeste mensen doen hun best om zulke emoties onder controle te houden. Als dat  niet lukt voel je je vaak nog vervelender. “Wat zullen andere mensen wel van me denken?” “Dit ben ik niet”, “Mensen zullen ontdekken wie ik werkelijk ben”. Om al deze redenen zal men in het algemeen proberen om de meeste gevoelens verborgen te houden. Er zijn echter situaties - zoals het verlies van een geliefde, omgaan met relaties die onder druk staan of werk dat te veel van je vraagt - waarin het je niet lukt om je gevoelens onder controle te houden. Emoties overspoelen je dan. De meeste mensen vrezen dit verlies van controle over hun gevoelens.

Als je echter in een omgeving bent waar je je veilig, verzorgd (lichamelijk en emotioneel) en gewaardeerd voelt, zul je je vroeg of laat vrij voelen om jezelf emotioneel te uiten. Als dit gebeurt zul je merken dat je je beter en helderder voelt en dichter bij je innerlijke waarheid. Hier is niets nieuws of verrassends aan. Als kleine kinderen schreeuwen of gillen tot zij hun pijn of woede volledig hebben geuit - omdat ze nog niet geleerd hebben om hun gevoelens in te houden - zijn ze daarna in staat om weer vrolijk verder te spelen.

Deze bevrijding of “catharsis” wordt in Co-Counseling “ontlading” genoemd, en het heeft positieve en voordelige effecten, zoals een gevoel van opluchting, meer helderheid en een ervaring van meer levenslust.

Van erg pijnlijke emoties kun je je onmogelijk in een keer bevrijden. Om te voorkomen dat je in je emoties verdrinkt en controle verliest, leer je als cliënt te kiezen op welke diepte en op welk tempo je met je gevoelens kunt omgaan. Ook leer je om “vriendelijk voor jezelf” te zijn als onderdeel van dit proces, zodat je ook met gevoelens als schaamte en schuldgevoel op een voor jou comfortabele manier kunt omgaan.

Je leven meer in eigen hand nemen

Co-Counseling doet veel meer dan je helpen bij het uit de weg ruimen van emotionele spanningen; het stimuleert je om te onderzoeken welke oorzaak eraan ten grondslag ligt. Het principe is eenvoudig: van nare gebeurtenissen uit het verleden hebben we geleerd om te reageren op een lang geleden vastgelegde manier (“patronen” in Co-Counseling), en deze nare ervaringen beïnvloeden nog steeds ons huidige gedrag. Zulke patronen beperken onze keuzen wanneer we in nieuwe situaties komen, en verhinderen om ons vrij te voelen en om op een meer creatieve manier te reageren.

Patronen kunnen verantwoordelijk zijn voor onze moeilijkheden in het omgaan met huidige problemen, in het bijzonder als we de oorzaak van de moeilijkheid niet begrijpen.

We kunnen meer beschikking over onze vermogens krijgen door de onderdrukte gevoelens die dat patroonmatig gedrag veroorzaken - te onderkennen en te uiten. Hierbij is het onvermijdelijk dat we, weer met deze gevoelens weer in contact komen.

In Co-Counseling is het echter niet de bedoeling dat het oprakelen van oude ervaringen een doel op zichzelf wordt. Het gaat er om dat je door je gevoelens uit die tijd onder ogen te zien en te uiten die oude ervaring meer en meer z’n invloed over jou verliest.

Veel dagelijkse problemen worden veroorzaakt door negatieve overtuigingen. Om te voorkomen dat je tegen toekomstige gebeurtenissen opziet biedt Co-Counseling een manier om de ideeën over jezelf te veranderen. Bijvoorbeeld, als jij gelooft dat jij geen liefde waard bent, dan kun je tot in het oneindige hierover je gevoelens ontladen, zonder iets te veranderen aan de onderliggende overtuiging. Deze basis-overtuiging veranderen in een meer positieve zoals “Ik ben om van te houden.” verandert je kijk op je zelf op de lange termijn en helpt je om positiever in het leven te staan.

Hoe werkt het?

In Co-Counseling werken mensen gewoonlijk in een tweetal dat de tijd gelijk verdeelt om zowel “counsellor” als “cliënt” te kunnen zijn.

Dit noemt men een sessie. Je kunt met elke Co-counselor een sessie hebben op ieder  moment van de dag, zolang dat voor alle twee goed uitkomt. Je kunt afspreken om een sessie te doen van een uur per persoon, of vijf minuten. Je kan het overal doen: bij je thuis, tijdens een wandeling of door de telefoon.

Dit onderscheidt Co-Counseling van andere vormen van counseling en therapie. Een ander verschil is dat je als cliënt zorg draagt voor jouw deel van de sessie, terwijl de counsellor er is om je daarbij te ondersteunen. Vervolgens wissel je van rol. Co-Counseling is dus op de eerste plaats een training om cliënt te zijn. Hoe beter je begrijpt en accepteert om zelf cliënt te zijn, hoe scherper je als counsellor aanvoelt hoe een goede ondersteuning aan je cliënt kunt geven.

Co-Counseling geeft je gelegenheid om andere Co-Counselers te ontmoeten tijdens landelijke en internationale bijeenkomsten. Als je de basistraining naar tevredenheid hebt afgerond kun je toegang krijgen tot dit netwerk. In de regio waar je woont kun je je persoonlijke ondersteuningsnetwerk opzetten door uit te zoeken met wie en hoe je sessies wilt doen. Bij elkaar thuis, door de telefoon, of met een groepje.

Hoe kan je het leren?

De basistraining is een 40-uur durende cursus. Gewoonlijk wordt deze gegeven verdeeld over 3 weekends of 9 dagen. De cursusgroep wordt geleid door 2 teachers of 1 teacher met de ondersteuning van een of meer ervaren Co-Counselers.

Deze cursusgroepen stellen je in staat om intensief en ervarenderwijs te leren met veel gelegenheid voor individuele aandacht voor elk groepslid.

De cursus begint met het creëren van een veilige en ondersteunende omgeving. Veiligheid in de groep en in de Co-Counseling- sessies is gegarandeerd in vertrouwelijkheid. Je gevoelens, je waarheid en de manier waarop je jezelf uit zijn persoonlijk en zullen vertrouwelijk behandeld worden.

Om je leerproces te ondersteunen ontvang je tijdens de cursus een handleiding met uitgangspunten en theorie over Co-Counseling.

Wat kun je leren?

In de basistraining leer je zowel de cliënt- als de counseler-rol. Geen cursus zal exact hetzelfde zijn, maar wel biedt zij je alle vaardigheden die nodig zijn om met elke andere Co-Counseler in de wereld sessies te doen.

Als je Co-Counseling leert zul je je vooral richten op je rol als cliënt, hoe haal je zoveel mogelijk uit je “cliënt-tijd”? Als cliënt leer je hoe je kunt werken met je gevoelens in plaats van erover te discussiëren of ze te onderdrukken. Je ontdekt hoe je je ingehouden gevoelens kunt laten gaan.

Ook leer je hoe je gedragspatronen kunt doorbreken en creatief kunt reageren op lastige situaties of uitdagingen. Je leert hoe je “wat je moet” en “wat hoort” opzij kunt zetten. Je begint te onderzoeken hoe je gedragspatronen en basisovertuigingen je gevoel van welbevinden blokkeren. Dit gebeurt eerder door te kijken naar wat je nu in het dagelijkse leven hoog zit, dan door in je verleden te duiken.

Als counseller leer je hoe je aanwezig kunt zijn voor je cliënt door vrije aandacht en veilige ondersteuning te geven, terwijl je respecteert dat de cliënt zelf de richting van de sessie bepaalt.

Vaak het enige dat een cliënt van verwacht, is dat je luistert op een toegewijde en niet-veroordelende manier.

Een ander aspect van de taak van de counseller is om suggesties of interventies te geven aan je cliënt. Je gebruikt technieken waar de cliënt al vertrouwd mee is, bedoeld als herinnering en aanmoediging tijdens de sessie. Je ervaring als cliënt helpt hier: hoe beter je begrijpt hoe counseling vaardigheden en technieken werken voor jou als cliënt, des te beter ben je in staat om als counseller suggesties aan je cliënt te geven.

In de buitenwereld is het vrij normaal dat mensen proberen het gedrag van anderen te controleren of te beïnvloeden. Om te voorkomen dat er controlerende patronen in de counseler-cliënt relatie sluipen, is de counseler’s rol er enkel op gericht om neutrale suggesties te geven. Hoe dit controlerende mechanisme werkt en hoe je die kunt vermijden leer je tijdens de basistraining.

Om Co-Counselers de gelegenheid te geven om snel en gemakkelijk sessies te doen, is een introductie in telefonisch Cocounseling onderdeel van de cursus.

Voor wie is Co-Counseling bedoeld?

Co-Counseling is een krachtig middel voor persoonlijke groei. Het is effectief voor de meeste mensen.

Co-Counseling is iets voor jou, als

  • je veranderingen in je leven wilt om meer te worden wie je in wezen bent;
  • je levensvaardigheden wilt vergroten met de steun van andere mensen
  • je je meer wilt openen en onderzoeken wat er van binnen bij jou gebeurt
  • je toegang wilt tot een netwerk voor persoonlijke ondersteuning

Je bent nog niet toe aan Co-Counseling als:

  • Je niet in staat bent om “vrije” aandacht te geven aan een andere persoon, bijvoorbeeld als je veel behoefte hebt aan aandacht voor jezelf
  • Je behoefte aan alcohol of stemming beïnvloedende medicijnen is te groot is om zonder deze middelen deel te nemen aan workshops of sessies
  • Je enkel bereid bent om andere mensen te observeren, maar niet bereid om je zelf te openen en mee te doen aan het leerproces.

Als je het idee hebt dat je er nog niet aan toe bent om de cursus te doen, is er het alternatief om eerst één-richting sessies te doen met een ervaren Co-Counseling teacher. Deze sessies zijn voornamelijk gebaseerd op de Co-Counseling theorie, zodat je een goede indruk krijgt van hoe sessies gaan in de praktijk.

Leer je om zelf counseler te worden?

Omdat in Co-Counseling de cliënt 100 % verantwoordelijk is voor zijn of haar eigen sessie, leer je als Co-Counseler níet om verantwoordelijkheid te hebben voor een andere persoon. Dit is een groot verschil met één-richtings counseling of therapie, waar van de cliënt niet verwacht wordt dat hij cliënt vaardigheden heeft en helemaal zelf verantwoordelijk is voor de sessie. Het is om deze reden dat Co-Counseling je geen formele kwalificatie geeft voor je bevoegdheid als counseler.

Co-Counseling geeft je wel bruikbare deskundigheid en stelt je in staat een betere één-richting counseler te zijn. Je luistervaardigheden zullen versterken en je zult een helderder en sympathieker begrip hebben voor andermans gedrag in het dagelijks leven.

Bovendien is Co-Counseling een waardevolle ondersteuning voor mensen die beroepsmatig met mensen werken, zoals hulpverleners, docenten of leidinggevenden. Het geeft je de mogelijkheid om overmatige stress omtrent je werk kwijt te raken. Ook kun je jezelf vragen stellen als “Waarom heb ik zo’n moeite met het gedrag van meneer X en hoe kan ik daar anders mee omgaan?” of “Waarom voel ik me niet adequaat als…?”.

Na de basistraining

Als je de basistraining hebt afgerond, heb je al een aantal Co-Counselers leren kennen en een aantal sessies met hen gehad. Je kunt afspraken maken voor vervolgsessies, in tweetallen of in kleine groepjes.

Als je lid wordt van Co-Counseling Nederland ontvang je de Nieuwsbrief 6 maal per jaar. Hierin staan artikelen over Co-Counseling en er worden vervolgcursussen en landelijke weekends aangekondigd. Ook ontvang je een ledenlijst, zodat je afspraken kunt maken met Co-Counselers die bij jou in de omgeving wonen.

Het is mogelijk om vervolg-cursussen te doen, waarbij je nog meer vaardigheden worden geleerd. Deze worden gegeven door ervaren Co-counselors of door teachers. Themas waarover vervolgcursussen worden aangeboden zijn onder meer “Rouwen”, “Counselen met je partner”, “Relaties”, “Transpersoonlijk Co-Counselen”, “Seksualiteit”, “Cocounselen en bio-energetica ” 

Ook kun je meedoen aan landelijke en internationale Co-Counseling workshops die regelmatig worden georganiseerd.

Hoeveel kost het?

Co-Counseling sessies kosten je niets, omdat je je tijd en je vaardigheden deelt met een andere Co-Counseler.

De kosten voor een basistraining bedragen ca. f 700,- voor 2 weekends + één dag. Als de kosten een probleem zijn is er een mogelijkheid om het bedrag in termijnen te betalen.

Nadat je de basistraining met succes hebt afgerond kun je lid worden van de Vereniging Co-Counseling Nederland. Dit kost f 50,- per jaar. Je ontvangt dan Nieuwsbrieven en kunt meedoen aan landelijke weekends. Deze weekends zijn erg voordelig; je betaalt enkel voor de huisvesting en de maaltijden. Als je een basistraining gevolgd hebt kun je het nog een keer doen voor een laag tarief.

CornuCopia

Het CornuCopia coöperatief is een groep ervaren Co-Counselers die in het Schotse Co-Counseling netwerk samenwerken bij het geven van basistrainingen, organiseren van workshops en het uitgeven van Co-Counseling publicaties. Hun doel is om een creatief en blij levensgevoel te promoten. Zij doen dit door trainingen aan te bieden waar je vaardigheden leert om de kwaliteit van je leven te verhogen en door mensen aan te moedigen om met elkaar netwerken voor persoonlijke ondersteuning   op te zetten.

Voor meer informatie in Nederland

Marlies Tjallingii  Tel. 038-460 8461
Marian van Wijngaarden  Tel.06-1141 5665

© 1997-2008 Cornucopia Publications

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    What is Co-Counselling?

    J. P. Hoogma, What is Co-Counselling?, CornuCopia Publications, 1997.
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    WHAT IS CO-COUNSELLING?

    by JanPieter Hoogma

    Living happily with your feelings

    If only that could be possible! One of the difficulties you may have in accepting yourself is in dealing with your feelings, especially when they are strong emotions, such as rage, despair, shame, grief, guilt or anger. People are anxious to keep such emotions under control, because failing to do so feels humiliating and unpleasant. ‘What will other people think of me?’ , ‘This is not me.’ ‘People will discover who I really am’. For all these reasons people will generally try to hide most of their feelings. However in situations such as having lost a loved one, or dealing with stressful relationships or work that is too demanding, this control of feelings can collapse and the emotions burst out. People fear this breakdown of control.

    However, when you are in an environment where you feel safe, valued and cared for (physically and emotionally), sooner or later you will feel free to express yourself emotionally. When this happens, you will find that you feel better and a lot clearer while getting in better touch with your own inner truth. There is nothing new or startling about this. When young children who haven’t yet learnt to hold in their feelings are allowed to cry or yell until they have fully expressed their hurt or anger, they are then able to go off and play quite happily. This release or catharsis is known in Co-Counselling as "discharge", and it has positive and beneficial effects, such as a feeling of relief, having more clarity and experiencing more zest for life.

    Very painful emotions cannot and do not need to be discharged all at once. To avoid getting drowned in them and losing control, you, as client, learn to choose at what depth and at what pace you want to deal with your emotions. You also learn "to be kind to yourself" as part of this process, so that unpleasant feelings such as guilt and shame can be comfortably dealt with.

    Empowerment

    Co-Counselling does much more than help to mop up distress, by allowing you to search for and confront its root causes. The principle is simple: past painful experiences have conditioned us to respond in set ways ("patterns", in Co-Counselling terms), and these old hurts still influence our present behaviour. Such patterns restrict our choices when we meet new situations, and prevent us from feeling free to act in the most appropriate or creative way. Patterns can be responsible for our difficulties in dealing with current problems, particularly those where we cannot easily understand the reason for the difficulty. We can all gain access to more of our potential by exploring and then releasing the suppressed feelings that make us behave in patterned ways.

    Inevitably, releasing suppressed feelings involves coming into contact with them again. However, Co-Counselling is not about digging up old memories for the sake of it: rather, in order to relegate them to the dustbin of history, it is necessary first to regain access to them.

    Another way of preventing future distress is changing negative basic beliefs about yourself. For instance, if you believe that you are unlovable, you can discharge your distress about feeling unloved again and again, without any change in the underlying feeling or belief. Changing this basic belief into a more positive one such as ‘I am loveable reduces distress in the long term, and creates more love.

    How does it work?

    In Co-Counselling people usually work in pairs taking equal time to be "counsellor" and "client" in turn. This exchange is called ‘having a session’. You can have a session with any Co-Counsellor at any time that suits both of you. A session can last an hour each way, or five minutes. You can have them anywhere: up a mountain, in a room, in your home, over the telephone. This distinguishes it from other types of counselling and therapy. Another difference is that you as the client are in charge of your part of the session, while the counsellor is there for support. Then you swap roles. Thus Co-Counselling is firstly a training in being a client. The more you understand how it is to be a client yourself, the better you will intuit how you, in the counsellor role, can provide good support for your client.

    Co-Counselling allows you to meet other Co-Counsellors in the Scottish and international network of people who have satisfactorily completed the "Fundamentals" training course. In the network everybody is free to choose their level of involvement in the sessions, groups or workshops on offer.

    In your local area you can create your own personal support network by finding out whom you like to have sessions with - face to face or over the telephone - and whom you would like to join in support groups.

    How do I learn?

    The basic training is a 40-hour course in the Fundamentals of Co-Counselling. Usually these courses run over three weekends or 9 weekdays.

    The learning group consists of a maximum of eight people plus either two teachers or one teacher with the support of an experienced Co-Counsellor. These small groups enable intensive, experiential learning with plenty of attention for each individual.

    The course starts by setting up a safe and supportive environment. Safety in the group and in the Co-Counselling sessions is guaranteed by confidentiality. Your feelings, your truth and the way in which you express yourself are important and will be treated confidentially.

    To support your learning you will receive hand-outs and a Co-Counselling manual during the Fundamentals.

    What will I learn?

    In the Fundamentals you learn both client and counsellor roles. No two courses will be exactly the same, but they are similar enough to allow you to work with any other trained Co-Counsellor anywhere in the world.

    Learning Co-Counselling is first about learning how to be a "client", how to get most out of your client time. As a client, you learn how to work with your feelings rather than discussing or suppressing them. You discover how to release feelings that you have held in from past experiences, so that you can come to terms with them.

    You also learn how to break through set behaviour patterns and to respond creatively to challenging situations. You will learn how to discard old and worn out "shoulds" and "oughts". Behaviour patterns and basic beliefs that block your well being are explored, often on the basis of current or immediate issues rather than digging for "deep" material.

    As counsellor you learn how to be present for your client by giving full attention and safe support, while respecting the client’s sense of self direction. You may only be required to listen in a focused and non-judgmental way.

    Another part of the counsellor job can be to offer suggestions ("interventions") to your client. These ‘interventions’ function mainly as reminders or encouragement focused on ways of working with which the client is already familiar. Your experience as client helps here: the better you understand how counselling skills and techniques work for you as client, the better you are able to give suggestions to your client as counsellor.

    In the outside world it is quite common for one person to try to control the behaviour of another. To prevent controlling patterns from slipping into the client-counsellor relationship, the counsellor's role in Co-Counselling is generally restricted to making neutral interventions. In addition, the nature of control patterns, how they work, and how to avoid them, is taught during the Fundamentals.

    To provide Co-Counsellors with the opportunity to have quick access to sessions, an introduction to Telephone Co-Counselling is part of the Fundamentals.

    Who is it for?

    Co-Counselling is a powerful tool for personal growth. It is effective for most people.
    It's for you, if:

    • you want to make changes in your life to realise your potential, increase your life skills with the support of other people
    • you are willing to "open up" and to explore what is going on inside you
    • you want to have access to a support network.

    You may not be ready for Co-Counselling if:

    • you are unable to give your undivided attention to another person, for example because you need a lot of attention yourself
    • you need alcohol or mind-affecting medicines to the extent that you are not able to attend workshops and sessions sober and free of drugs
    • you are only prepared to observe other people but not willing to open up and participate fully in the learning process.

    If you do not yet feel ready for Co-Counselling, you have the alternative of having one-way sessions with an experienced Co-Counselling teacher. Most of this counselling will be based on Co-Counselling theory, so that you get used to what is involved in Co-Counselling.

    Will it train me to be a counsellor?

    Because in Co-Counselling the client is in charge of his or her own sessions, Co-Counselling does not train you to take responsibility as counsellor for another person. This contrasts with one-way counselling or therapy in which the client is generally not assumed to have client skills or to be in charge of the session. That is why Co-Counselling does not offer any formal qualifications or credentials for your ability as a counsellor.

    However, Co-Counselling can give you useful expertise and enable you to be a better one-way counsellor. Your listening skills will be enhanced and you will have a clearer and more sympathetic understanding of other people’s behaviour in everyday life.

    In addition, Co-Counselling offers valuable support for people whose work involves dealing with people, for example as counsellor, manager, leader or teacher. It provides an opportunity to off load distress and to explore issues such as "Why did I do that?", "What does this event tell me about myself?", "Why do I feel inadequate when...?" or "Why do I dislike doing X and how can I deal with it better?".

    After the Core Training

    When you have completed the ‘Fundamentals’ training course, you will already know several Co-Counsellors, and have had sessions with them. You can arrange further sessions, either one-to-one or in small groups, with this group of people, or you can seek out others. An excellent way of doing this is to join a local Co-Counselling network.You will then receive a Newsletter, which contains information about workshops and articles about Co-Counselling. It contains also an address list of Co-Counsellors and often a section listing Co-Counsellors who are prepared to have telephone sessions if they have time available.

    You can attend Open Co-Counselling Days, which are full- or half-day workshop where Co-Counsellors come together to have sessions either in pairs or in small groups. These occasions offer opportunities to meet other Co-Counsellors and to potentially find a more permanent Co-Counselling partner.

    You may want to attend Further Skills Workshops, taught by experienced Co-Counsellors or Co-Counselling teachers. Some of them focus on developing more Co-Counselling skills as such, like ‘Working on an Issue that feels too big’. Some are related to specific themes such as 'Inner child work', 'Sexuality and Tantra', 'Assertiveness', 'Loss & Bereavement'.

    Residential Workshops have flexible programs offered by participants. There also are support groups, celebrations and discharge, good food, walking in the countryside, dancing and singing, and so on. Residential workshops usually have organised child minding with paid crèche workers.
    You will also have the opportunity to attend other UK and International Co-Counselling workshops.

    After having built up more confidence in your client and counselling skills you may want to start a support group or join an existing one.

    How much does it cost?

    Co-Counselling sessions are free, because you exchange your time and skills with another Co-Counsellor.

    The fees for Scottish workshops are related generally to income levels, although there are exceptions. The levels are: normal income, low income and no income (student or unwaged). If the lowest fee level is still too much for you, you may negotiate another solution, such as paying by installment.

    Fundamentals fees generally vary from £100 - £200, depending on income. After the Fundamentals you usually will receive one copy of the local newsletter free.

    Subscription to the Scottish network newsletter is between £5 and £12 a year, depending on your income. (4 issues a year).

    Peer Workshops such as Community Days & CCI residential workshops usually have fees that cover the organisational costs only. For Open Co-Counselling Days the fees depend also on the region where they are organised. In Edinburgh and Tayside this is £1 or £2 for the whole day, again depending on your income.

    Further Skills Workshops have fees that cover the facilitation and teaching on top of the organisational costs. Typical costs vary between £40 and £80 for 8 evenings.

    © 1997-2008 Cornucopia Publications

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      McCoCo: 30th April - 4th May 2020

      Dear wonderful co-counsellor

      Winter is still here, but before you can say ‘Would you like to celebrate that?’ spring will be here and McCoCo will be with us, along with green shoots and birdsong in the trees.

      You are WARMLY invited to attend the 22nd McCoCo, a four-day residential (Thursday - Monday) in a big old hunting lodge set in 52 acres of beautiful grounds.

      There will be space for….

      :))))))    workshops, opening circles, co-counselling sessions

      :))))))    music, dance, writing, art, ceilidh (aka cabaret)

      Summary/Outline of workshops/offerings at CCI Germany 2019

      Summary/Outline of workshops/offerings

      at CCI Germany 2019

      (presented in alphabetical order by facilitator's first name)

       

      Title: The SLOW workshop

      Facilitated by Csaba

      1. Round of names and thoughts and associations about the word 'slow'.

      2. We imagined/mimed with eyes closed to peel a potato or two to perfection

      3.Sharing

      4. From one end of the room you have to go to a 'terrible' place, you do not want to go, but you have to: how do you go? 

      5. With a magic timepiece you can make sure you arrive in time (to work, school, a place you have to get in time) But now you have all the time you want to prepare, sidetrack, linger, go back if you forget sth. : 8-8 min tell you partner how you go, what you do

      6. Sharing

      7.Mini session: in what part of life should you speed up or slow down?

      8. Closing circle.

       

      Title: Hot Seat

      Facilitator: Janice Wasser

      There were 7 of us sitting in a circle. One person is on the hot seat, he or she sets the level of risk by indicating with their arm straight up for high challenge, straight out for medium and down for low challenge. Confidentiality and safety were emphasized and people were reminded to pause between statements or questions. Time was set for 8 minutes each and slop time with attention switch and time for closing circle. Anyone could ask the worker questions. The worker could change the contract at any time and choose not to answer a question. 

       

      Title: The Co-Coping Project - an overview (Two morning workshops: Tuesday-Thursday)

      Facilitator: JanPieter Hoogma

      Outline: Opening circle - Powerpoint presentation engaging the attendants with opportunities for questions, discussions and a small session. There was also a special exercise: making a drawing of yourself as rider and your elephant. Closing circle.

      Extra: PDFs of the presentation are available in German, Dutch and English. Contact me on janpieteratco-cornucopia [dot] org [dot] uk.

       

      Title: The talking to your father workshop,

      Facilitator: Jo

      For a small group of about eight people Max. We had a brief round to say why we’d come, Then divided the time, people could choose whether to have the time in a block or to split it. And we had a closing round.

       

      Title: The walk of delight.

      Facilitator: Jo

      We met as a group and divided into pairs and threes, taking into account whether people wanted to walk much. And split the time into small chunks of 5/10 minutes, alternating. Essentially a walk staying in the present with the total attention of your Companion/S. At the end the group came back together for a short round of how it was. One interesting thing was the randomness of where you start your time from, because it’s where your companion ended theirs.

       

      Title: Co-co sessions workshop (1.5 hours)
      Facilitator: Julian Briggs
      4-20 people

      1. Check-in round: name and how I am feeling now (< 1 minute each)
      2. Round of what sort of session I want: pairs/threes, man/woman, short/long, language(s) etc (< 1 minute each)
      3. Stand, mill partner up. Facilitator helps process. No-one leaves until everyone has a satisfactory co-co session arranged. (~3 minutes)
      4. Sessions: 30 minutes each way in pairs
      5. Check-out closing circle (< 1 minute each)

       

      Title: Extinction Rebellion workshop (2.5 hours)
      Facilitator: Julian Briggs
      4-100 people

      1. Introduce workshop plan (5 mins)
      2. mini "What brings me here" (2 mins each way)
      3. PowerPoint presentation of standard Extinction Rebellion Talk (includes 3 mini sessions of 2 mins each way) (90 mins)
      4. Q&A (20 mins)
      5. co-co session (15 mins each way)
      6. Check-out closing circle (< 1 minute each)
      7. Further info: https://rebellion.earth/

       

      Title: Insight Dialogue, Interpersonal Meditation (1.5 hours)
      Facilitator: Julian Briggs
      4-12 people

      1. Introduce workshop plan (5 mins)
      2. Introduce Insight Dialogue (10 mins)
        1. Origin
        2. Purpose
        3. Practice: Pause, Relax, Open, Trust Emergence, Listen Deeply, Speak Truthfully
      3. Experiential exercises in pairs (3 times)
        1. Insight Dialogue (1 minute each way, 2nd time 2 mins each way, 3rd time 4 minutes simultaneously)
        2. Reflect (2 minutes)
        3. Feedback to group (5 mins)
      4. Insight Dialogue in whole group
        1. Insight Dialogue
        2. Reflection in group on practice and experience
      5. Further info: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Insight_Dialogue

       

      Workshop title: Sibling roles in the family: Golden Child, Lost Child, Scapegoat and Black Sheep.

      This was a workshop invented, designed and facilitated by Kate Golten.

      Some translation was offered by the facilitator and participants when required. 
      Geschwister rollen in der Familie: das Sonntags Kind, das Unscheinbares Kind, der Sondenbock, und der Schwarzer Schaf. 

      Based on theories of dysfunctional families, especially families with a narcissistic parent. Anyone who feels that they relate to one or more of the roles is invited to attend. This is a workshop in which we are siblings, the parents are not invited.

      Opening activity: Participants are asked to place themselves in groups in different parts of the room on large paper circles on the floor. The circles represent oldest child, youngest child, middle child and only child. They then say their name and the number and names of their siblings. 

      Next they place themselves differently according to which of the roles they think they had in their family. They stop and feel what that feels like for a while, then have a mini or round in their role group, splitting the time equally. Participants can switch groups if they feel that they have changed their mind.
      Next they have a set time for saying something to one or more of the other groups. The other groups do not respond to what is being said.
      A longer co-counselling session follows and a closing round.

      This was a workshop of approximately 1 hour and a half (maybe less). With a longer time slot, I would have allowed for more time to explore dialogue between the different groups. 
      Many participants said they felt they had either done some powerful sessions, or that the workshop had led to further sessions on this topic.

       

      Title: Vivacious, Voluptuous Vulva Workshop

      Facilitators: Kathryn Bass & Janice Wasser

      Outline: Opening circle - Name and a feeling, facilitators gave a brief explanation of why they are offering this workshop, presentation of a drawing of a vulva describing the various parts - short discussion of other names used, split up into triads, each participant answered 3 questions of 2 minutes each - what's on top, how did I discover my vulva, how does my vulva take part in my sexual life, then after all three had their 6 minutes, each had a 10 minute session on what came up in the triad. Closing round - Name and celebration with one hand on heart and other hand on vulva.

       

      Keith Lander facilitated two workshops:

      1. Suicide

      For those who have experienced suicide of another person they know eg within your immediate or wider family or friends etc. The workshop is not for those who have only attempted or thought about suicide themselves. 

      Time: 2hours

      Structure: peer led with start initiated by Workshop organiser as follows: sitting in a circle ideally as a small group of approx 6-10 people. Sharing circle ie participants share either in words and or body/ sound and or in silence. Each person takes a turn to share by taking the ‘talking stick‘ and ‘speaking’ fir as long as they wish and as ma y times as they wish mindful however of others in the group who may also wish to share. Participants take turns ‘popcorn’ style ie when they feel moved (‘restimulated’) to share.  The sharer takes the stick and holds the stick showing others that it is their turn to receive free attention when talking. 

      After one round another round can be a time when the shared could ask other interventions and or support from the group. 

      For the last approx half hour participants are invited to share: positive ways forward, directions, goal/target setting, learning from the group and most importantly celebrations ie self validations. This last section is important to come away from the initial likely emotional sharing.

       

      2. Talking to loss

      An opportunity to ‘speak’ to someone who you have lost eg either through death and or could be loss such as an ending of a relationship.

      Time: 2 hours

      Structure: peer led with basic structure facilitated.

      Small group of approx 6-10. Prepare a symbol of ‘loss’. This ideally is a participant who is underneath a white sheet and sitting on a chair or bean bag. Participants would take turns doing this. Alternatively, a seat can have a number of cushions placed on it and built up with white sheet over it, enough to make it look like someone under the sheet. A colourful cloth can be placed around the bottom of the sheet on the ground. It is ideal if there was a lot of space behind the white sheet for the potential for participants to walk around. Place a cushion/s in front of the sheet available for a client to sit in. Group sits as a semi-circle in front of the white sheet but leaving g the sheeted chair or person in isolation and not part of the semi-circle. 

      Each person takes turn to ‘speak’ to their loss. Depending on group size and time, this can be timed or popcorn and not timed. Client can use the group or individuals in the group how they wish eg ha I g someone or more than one as a support person, another or several as a counsellor (s).

      End with for the last approx half hour participants are invited to share: positive ways forward, directions, goal/target setting, learning from the group and most importantly celebrations ie self validations. This last section is important to come away from the initial likely emotional sharing.

       

      A second workshop could be in triads ie 3s with a client (worker), counsellor (listener) and another non speaking counsellor who is underneath the white sheet. If preferred the 3rd person can just turn their back to the client without having a white sheet however there is more power in having the white sheet to indicate a person unseen and unheard as well as suggestive of a shroud over someone who has died or gone. 

       

      Marian van.Wijngaarden offered 3 workshops:

      1. Jamming for musicians.  we played music together in the group.

      Each participant was given the opportunity to play as a soloist, with 
      the others playing the orchestra. The soloist was, as it were, the 
      client and the others the counselors

      2. Lamenting & music

      There are no good mourning rituals in our western world. It is important 
      in a grieving process that the feelings come out, music can be very 
      supportive in this. In this workshop we listen to music and explore how 
      we get into the lament with voice and cajon

      3. Voice liberation for women who go through a grieving process

      Sitting on a cajon & making sounds in your own rootnote with support of 
      the group and guitar playing of the workshop giver

       

      Titel: Impro-Tanzen und DJ Markus

      Musik von Iiro Rantala, Thomas Hanreich, Rene Aubry, Moondog....

      1.) warm mach Übungen

      2.) zu dritt die Zwischenräume Tanzen

      3.) Gegensätze Tanzen mit Shaps in den Pausen

      4.) Kommunikationstanz zu zweit

      5.) Großer Abschlusskreis mit Leuchtkugel 

       

      DJ Markus freies Tanzen

       

      Title: Impro-Dancing and DJ Markus

      Music by Iiro Rantala, Thomas Hanreich, Rene Aubry, Moondog....

      1) warm up exercises

      2) dancing in threes the interspaces

      3.) Opposites dancing with Shaps in the breaks

      4.) Communication dance for two

      5.) Large terminating circuit with light ball

       

      DJ Markus free dancing

       

      Title: Co-coping recipes

      Facilitator: Marlies Tjallingii, supported bij Verena Schütte

      Outline: Opening circle, Name and one word, then doing the exercise (recipe) is From Pain to Power, which helps to react in different ways to a trigger which gives an automatic reaction (pattern). In the exercise we liberate ourselves from this and practise new ways of reacting.

      The second recipe is: making a picture at the end of a session, when the topic of your session is not yet finished. We talked about being in the emotion or looking from a distance (the picture) to the emotion. We did a closing circle saying our name and the main resource we have to make our lives more vital.

       

      Every morning workshop: Tai Chi Exercises and the pritvi namaskar, from 7.30 till 7.45  Facilitator: Marlies Tjallingii

       

      Title: Accepting and Loving difficult people

      Facilitator: Mike Root

      Outline: Opening circle (8 people + 1 facilitator) -  Started with an opening circle of what brought you to this workshop, followed by a 15 minute loving kindness meditation (metta), starting with a person you love and care about, connecting to a feeling of love and working toward more challenging people and all beings.  Then, 7 minutes of co counseling each way.  Finally, a closing circle with insights, direction, and if inspired to a blessing for self and difficult person/people. 

       

      Title: Real Communication Despite Severe Political Disagreements / Developing Strategies Together

      Facilitator: Rudolf Giesselmann

      The workshop began with a 15-minute exploration session in pairs. The first 5 minutes of the session was used to provide a literal description of situations which involved extreme political disagreements. The next 10 minutes was for exploration on strategies and ideas to be used to improve communication. Afterwards there was a round with 11 of us sitting in a circle to share these strategies. The sharing was recorded and will be written up and sent to the participants and to anyone who is interested.

       

      Title: Singing for amateurs

      Facilitators: Sarah (Ger) & Alan (UK)

      Outline: We invited everyone who likes singing and usually avoids groups of more experienced singers for various reasons. We started with an opening circle where one could share experiences of using the own voice, restrictions of using the own voice and/ or other motivations for joining the workshop. We continued with a humming and built a connection through our voices. We also asked participants to bring a song that we then taught each other and sang together. The repertoire ranged from popular songs to lullabies, folk and freedom songs.

      Titel: Singen für Amateur*innen
      ModeratorIn: Sarah (D) & Alan (UK)
      Inhalte: Es waren alle eingeladen, die gerne singen möchten und aus unterschiedlichen Gründen Gesangsgruppen mit erfahreneren Sänger*innen eher meiden. Wir haben mit einer kurzen Eröffnungsrunde angefangen, in der Teilnehmende teilen konnten, welche Erfahrungen sie gemacht haben, wenn sie ihre Stimme benutzen oder wann sie sich begrenzt fühlten oder andere Gründe nannten am Workshop teilzunehmen. Um uns mit unseren Stimmen zu verbinden, sind wir für einige Minuten gemeinsam ins Summen gekommen. Wir haben die Teilnehmenden gebeten ein Lied mitzubringen, das wir uns dann gegenseitig beigebracht und gemeinsam gesungen haben. Das Repertoire reichte von Pop-Liedern, über Schlafliedern zu Volks- und Friedensliedern.

       

      Topic: How to prepare for the adventure of your life and death

      Facilitator Sylvia Wagner-Bottomer

      We started with a n circle of names and what draw you here. Then I explained briefly three common blockages people may experience in there dying process: Trauma/ soul wounds; Attachment and Fear. We had a short co-co session about our one experience. 

      I prepared a scene with an area of blockages (foam blocks), a river (blue cloth) as threshold of life/death and space beyond. Everyone had ten minutes time to get in contact with their feelings regarding their own death and could go in their own time towards the threshold and when ready beyond this threshold. We did it all at the same time. Afterwards there was a sharing circle of our experience.

      Then we had a visualization to find our one safe place, where we can retreat to when in discomfort, fear and the whole situation gets too much. 

      The participants feedback was that it was useful for them.

       

       

      Sytse offered an act in the talent show: please look at my English website: https://www.iempower.nl/NLP/NLPmirroring.htm

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

      Topics

      McCoCo - EARLY BIRD 17 February deadline

      McCoCo - EARLY BIRD 17 February deadline

      Hello from the McCoCo team: Chris, Sarah, Mick, Kate and Richard

      For those of you who have not yet booked and are drawn to our event, now is the time to save a few quid!

      The EARLY BIRD price expires soon. We've extended the deadline until the end of this weekend so if you have a super busy week you can book up at your leisure on Saturday/Sunday (assuming there are places left).

      Click here for more information.

      Bye for now, wonderful co-counsellors.

      English

      McCoCo, 2nd-6th May 2019... an invitation for you

      McCoCo, 2nd-6th May 2019… an invitation for you.

      Dear wonderful co-counsellor,

      Winter is setting in, but before you can say ‘Would you like to celebrate that?’ spring will be here and McCoCo will be with us, along with green shoots and birdsong in the trees.

      You are WARMLY invited to attend the 21st McCoCo, a four day residential in a big old hunting lodge set in 52 acres of beautiful grounds.

      English

      Notes from "Sowing the Seeds Workshop" for those interested in the teaching of CCI Co-counselling, August 2018

      Notes from "Sowing the Seeds Workshop" for those interested in the teaching of CCI Co-counselling, August 2018

      (after CCI 2018 Scotland)

      Janice Wasser and Celia Wilson, September 2018

       

      We would like to thank all the participants who attended the “Sowing the Seeds” Teaching Workshop following the European CCI in Scotland.  There were 29 of us, which is more than usual for a workshop on the teaching of co-counselling.

      In this article we have summarized the main points covered in the 22 hours we spent together. The intention is to keep in line with the theme of the gathering which includes cross pollination from members of different communities and opening up opportunities to bring in new people and encourage current members to get involved.

       

      Some processes experienced at the beginning of the workshop:

       

      There was a big shift after spending the week with 100 co-counselors at the CCI to a smaller group in the Teaching Workshop.  Some of us may have needed to process "burnout" (raw emotions after a full week of CCI), "grieving" (letting go of those who left, having forged wonderful connections over the week) and assessing our needs as we move into work mode with a group of people passionate about co-counselling.

       

      There was a transition from the CCI to the Teaching Workshop where we moved from a mainly hierarchical style of facilitation (in at least the plenary sessions of the main workshop) to a more co-operative, co-creating style.

       

      We started off with some gentle massage in the circle, always a great way to get grounded, then a few kinesiology exercises raising energy levels and connecting the left and right brain. A mini session followed, five minutes each way to reach some clarity for the next phase. We were then ready to co-create our agenda.

       

      Celia and I proposed the structure for the workshop and shared a preliminary list of topics based on suggestions posted from the emails and notes provided prior to the workshop.  We added other topics suggested by the participants and put together this wonderful list:

       

      Each participant was asked to choose three priority topics from the list. Based on the voting results we were able to divide up into topic groups based on level of interest: 1) Neuroscience & Co-Co.  2) Co-Connection and 3) Modular Course/Syllabus/Core techniques & elements for teaching Co-Co.

       

      There was a meltdown after the first couple of hours together. As much as we tried to provide the space for co-creation, for mutual respect and honoring individual expression and self-responsibility – there was a lot of charge in the room and the distress overcame us. 

       

      I valued the way the group was willing to pause in its business to sort out what had happened and things went smoothly thereafter.  Agota with her wealth of experience in organizational education was able to provide us with a platform for working through our process. Nina was also instrumental in co-leading the next phase. Thanks Ladies!

       

      We then divided up into different spaces, where one group shared why co-counseling is important to them, many describing how they reached their first co-co training, and the other groups went to work on topics from the board. 

       

      The next day Robyn James gave us a brief overview on Action Research Enquiries: discussing Balance of Attention and a Window of Tolerance – the space between the hyper-arousal state and hypo-arousal state. We then dispersed into several groups based on the list of topics. Sue Gray led a group on "Peer Supervision in Coco – mental health", Sarah McCloughry led a group on "Peer Enquiry into Marketing"; Richard Charles led a group on "How are you doing with teaching Co-co or Not?"; and John Talbut led a group on "Taking our facilitation skills into the world, sessions and groups".

       

      In our closing circle we all shared what we came away with from the workshop. It was a fruitful exchange and many participants were inspired to move forward to promote Co-co in our communities in the various ways discussed.

      Someone asked after the workshop if we would have done anything differently if we could do it over again. It was easy for me (JW) to answer because I said, No. I (CW) would say that at the beginning I was a bit too keen to be speedy in view of the short time we had together.  Perhaps a considerably longer session would have been good.

       

      What’s most important for me (JW) here is not about how smoothly and seamlessly we can work together; it’s more about how we manage the bumps and cracks in our process.

       

       

      Celia and I are pleased to conclude that co-co is alive and kicking and our mission was accomplished in providing the space for these passionate people to express their dreams and ambitions and find connection with other like-minded peers.

       

      Side note: Enquiry vs Inquiry

      These days, the two terms are often used interchangeably. However, according to some there is a difference between the two. Enquiry means to ask a question, and inquiry is a formal investigation. Yet another difference lies in the etymological source of the prefixes ‘en’ and ‘in’. ‘En’ comes from French, and ‘in’ from Latin. Inquiry has a formal and official ring to it, while enquiry is informal in its connotation.

      In general parlance, it is understood that enquire is to be used for ‘asking’, while inquire is what constitutes ‘making a formal investigation’. In reality though, according to both the Oxford English Dictionary and Websters Dictionary enquiry is preferred in British English, whereas the Americans are more comfortable with inquiry. As a matter of fact, it is only in British English that any attention is paid to the distinction. In US and Australian English, inquiry has long been the preferred spelling with the same definition of the words.

      Another way of distinguishing between the two terms if you wish to do so, is to know the differences between the Enquiry Based System of Education (ECB) and the Inquiry Based System of Education (ICB). At the ECB, the students are encouraged to be naturally inquisitive and curious, and base their queries on their innate desire to learn. In the latter case, the focus is on conforming to the syllabus, and asking questions which assist with that task, while not paying too much attention to attaining pure knowledge.

      Reference: http://www.differencebetween.net/language/difference-between-enquiry-and...

       

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        Issue #36: Sunday 8th there is a Community Day in Musselburgh

        Starter events in the UK

        A good way of refreshing your Co-counselling skills as well as supporting new people to get settled in Co-counselling!

        2020

        Four-Day London Co-Counselling Training (with online element): Autumn 2020 TAKING BOOKINGS NOW!

        Thu 3 Dec., Thu 17 Dec., Sat 23 Jan., Sun 24 Jan., Sat 13 Feb., Sun 14 Feb.

        London, United Kingdom
        2021

        Co-Counselling (CCI) Core Training

        Sat 13 Mar. to Sun 14 Mar., Sat 27 Mar., Sat 10 Apr. to Sun 11 Apr.

        Alvechurch, United Kingdom

        Spring Online Co-Counselling Training - NOW TAKING BOOKINGS!!!

        Tue 18 May., Tue 1 Jun., Tue 15 Jun., Tue 29 Jun., Tue 6 Jul., Tue 13 Jul., Tue 20 Jul., Tue 27 Jul.

        London, United Kingdom

        Community days and one-day events in the UK

        A good way of refreshing your Co-counselling skills as well as for supporting new people to get settled in Co-counselling!

        2021

        Midlands Community Day

        Sat 17 Apr.

        Birmingham, United Kingdom

        Midlands Community Day

        Sat 15 May.

        Birmingham, United Kingdom

        Midlands Community Day

        Sat 12 Jun.

        Birmingham, United Kingdom

        Midlands Community Day

        Sat 17 Jul.

        Birmingham, United Kingdom

        Residentials outside the UK

        2021

        CCI Europe, 2020 postponed to 2021

        Sun 25 Jul. to Sat 31 Jul.

        Bölcske, Hungary
        2022

        CCI Aotearoa New Zealand, January 2022 - Tentative

        Fri 21 Jan. to Thu 27 Jan.

        Taupo, New Zealand

        Editorial: 

        My co-host Lindsay and I will be hosting a Community Day on the 8th September at my place,

        1E Harbour Rd,
        Musselburgh, EH21 6DL

        from 10 til 5pm.

        It will be the usual bring lunch to share and asking co-counsellors interested in coming, to let the host know if possible, though welcome to come if just turning up too. Half day, full day & usual suggested donations and times.

        Best wishes,

        Amanda.
        075 1567 1560
        designhouse77atoutlook [dot] com

        Networking: 

        Topics included in core training courses

        The attachment is a table of topics that are included by various trainers in the CCI Core Training (Fundamentals) courses that they teach.  Any teachers who want to be added to the table or make alterations if they are already on it, please contact cocoatdpets [dot] uk (subject: Core%20training%20topics) (John Talbut.)

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