Free Attention

Free attention: attention that is free of any self focused thoughts or feelings in the person giving attention (the listener). The listener's attention is freely available for the other person.

Free attention is a strong intervention, intervening in the other person's process (of thoughts and feelings). It supports the other person to open up, particularly emotionally.

The listener has a steady, open, friendly expression, a smile that is not a smile, an expression of delight in the other person, whatever they are doing or saying. Free attention is intended to show unconditional support and encouragement. The listener does not, therefore, have a blank or serious face. This conveys something more like lack of interest or disapproval.

Free attention is used in other approaches to listening, counselling and psychotherapy. It is similar to the 'Unconditional positive regard' of person centred counselling. It has a big effect on people who are not used to it and is often not appropriate outside of co-counselling.

There are two approaches to the listener's mental activity:

  1. The listener aims to empty their mind of any thoughts. In effect the listener is meditating on the other person.
  2. The listener attends to the other person's process. They try to understand what patterns the other person may be running either in the situations they are working on or in the session and what the history of those patterns might be. They think about what techniques the other person might use to work on their material.
    It is possible that the other person may pick this up as a sense that the listener is giving really good attention or they may intuit and try the techniques that the listener is thinking of.

Free attention is basic to co-counselling.  Clients in a CCI session may, and often do, ask for a Free attention Contract and the counsellor (the listener) only gives free attention. Even if the counsellor asks for a normal contract, most of what the counsellor will do is to give free attention, with the occasional suggestion about techniques to use.

Nodding and smiling

These are part of normal conversation. They intervene in the talkers process in three ways:

  1. They indicate that the listener has heard and has some understanding of what the speaker has said.
  2. They reassure the talker.
  3. They can indicate agreement with the talker.

In co-counselling sessions:

  1. The counsellor is not concerned with the content of the client's work except as far as it gives some information about the client's process. It is normal for co-counsellors to have sessions with people working in a language they do not understand, working non verbally or even working in gibberish.
  2. The client does not need reassurance. Co-counselling takes the view that everyone is fundamentally OK. Not reassuring is an effective contradiction that is rooted in CCI co-counselling and is an important part of why CCI co-counselling is so empowering.
  3. Everything that the client works on is OK.  Any indication that the counsellor agrees with anything undermines this general presumption and can be experienced as commenting on the client's work.

Many CCI trainers would regard a client's need for their counsellor to nod and smile, or for the counsellor to feel that they have to do so, as indications the they have not yet learned free attention on a core training course and would not accredit them to be co-counsellors until they had done so.

Contract

In daily life when people or organisations set up a contract they clarify together what they can expect from each other in certain situations. These expectations form the core of the contract. This may be extended with extensions for instance about what happens when the contract is not met, how the contract is going to be enforced or how it can be dissolved.

The same in Co-Counseling: when Co-Counsellors agree to do something together, they make a contract to clarify what they can expect from each other.

There are varous contracts in Co-Counselling:

  • Session Contracts
    In these the client and counsellor clarify what the client can expect from the counsellor in his/her session;
  • Buddy contracts
    During workshops often Buddy couples are formed. They clarify their mutual expectation in their Buddy contract.
  • Support Group Contracts



Counsellor

Outside of co-counselling, a Counsellor is someone you have sessions with who tries to help you resolve problems that you have or improve your life in some way. They have various types and levels of expertise which they can use to help you.

In CCI Co-Counselling this is different: the client is in charge and 'runs' the session, decides what to work on and how to do this. In the Session Contract the Client and the Counsellor clarify how the counsellor can fulfil this supportive role - which might include being asked to be a silent witness.

The essential attitude and skill that the Counsellor brings to the session is Free Attention: witnessing the client with a warm heart and letting them get on with their session. Leaving the Client in charge of their session can be a challenge for a Counsellor. For more information about this, see the Rescue Triangle.

Depending on what the Client and the Counsellor have agreed in the Session Contract the counsellor can give verbal and non-verbal suggestions during the session.

There is a different, potentially confusing use of the word 'Counsellor' in Germany.
People can only really be in charge of their session if they are able to 'counsel' themselves. It is exactly for this reason that people trained in the Haus Kloppenburg approach have decided in the past to call their Clients 'Counsellor' and their Counsellor 'Co-Counsellor!


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Confidentiality

The purpose of Confidentiality in Co-Counselling is to provide the client with a safe space in sessions, circles sharing rounds and workshops to express their experience without a backlash. That means that the information people pick-up in sessions, circles, other sharing rounds and workshops stays within these environments and may not be referred to, discussed or divulged to the people involved or third parties without negotiation.

Confidentiality and sessions

 

Confidentiality and circles

 

Confidentiality and sharing rounds

 

Confidentiality and workshops

 

 


 

 

 

 

Client In Charge

This is the core principle and expectation in CCI about the role of the client in a session: whatever session contract the Client is In Charge of their session. This means being

  • In charge of devolving or taking back as much or as little responsibility as wished to the counsellor for reminders, suggestions etc.....
  • in charge of the depth and direction of the work

This expectation is in line with the understanding in Co-Counselling that each adult takes responsibility and charge of their own life.

Diversity

It is this principle that supports the diversity of approaches in CCI Co-Counselling.


Client

The Client is the person working in a session on his or her issues, with the attention of a counsellor. A client is sometimes referred to as the "Worker", “Explorer” or "Creator" in the Co-Creating Contract.

Clients are responsible for:

  • structuring their session and deciding how to approach their material
  • choosing and negotiating the session contract that best fits their needs while clienting
  • maintaining Balance Of Attention when working on deep emotional stuff.

There is a different, potentially confusing, use of the word 'Counsellor' in Germany.
People can only really be in charge of their session if they are able to 'counsel' themselves. It is exactly for this reason that people trained in the Haus Kloppenburg approach have decided in the past to call their Clients 'Counsellor'. And their Counsellor 'Co-Counsellor!


Attention Switches

Called in the USA: Present Time or Attention Out

The Client may end the session with Attention Switch exercises to switch the attention away from the material worked on in the session and so to (re-)gain more free attention for the here-and-now situation.

Some examples of these simple exercises

  • doing some mental arithmetic,
  • recalling names of trees, capital cities, etc.
  • describing the physical surroundings,
  • doing some physical exercises (especially those requiring independent movement of the two halves of the body - "cross crawling").

Attention-out exercises can also be used within a session to restore balance of attention, and the practice of "new & goods" at the start of a session and workshops fall also in this category (i.e. attention-away from the distress I arrived with)

The counsellor might remind the client to do some of these Attention Switch exercises.